Someone once asked me why I wouldn't let them 'get closer' as a friend, why I would only allow people to get so close to me and then I would back away. It's a tricky spot, and one that I've chosen to be in because of my make up and leadership style.
My comment to them was simple - "One day, I'm going to have to be your pastor and not your friend and you're not going to like it. This is who God has called me to be and how He has shaped me to serve in this body." That didn't settle well, unfortunately for them. We're still friends. But only as far as I feel it's safe to be. I take what I do as a pastor very seriously because I believe it is a very serious calling.
Does that mean that I don't have any close friends? No. They just may not be a part of this church family, but I have them. I've watched too many leaders fall because they allowed people they work with to get too close. When the time came to be the leader, it caused more conflict than was necessary. There has to be some boundaries that, as a leader, we can't compromise on. There are many people in the ministry who don't buy into this logic, and that's okay. They're entitled to their opinion and I respect that. This works for me and it's how I roll.
As we lead in today's church, we need to pay attention to who we allow to be 'close' in our lives. We have to keep an eye toward the future, knowing that someday we'll have to be a pastor to this same person who wants to be our friend. We had a similar situation here not too long ago where someone wanted to see their friend, NOT their pastor. Sorry...can't separate the two.
It may sound lonely, and at times it is. But I do this for the one who called me and for no one else. I love what I do - most of the time - and thank God that He has me where I am today for what He wants me to do.
Lead out of the things you love with the gifts He has given You - and enjoy the ride!
See ya in church...
4 comments:
stumbled across your site/blog. I'm big in to leadership and teamwork and thought of a quote I read years ago..."No man is a leader until his appointment is ratified in the hearts and minds of his men." I don't usually comment on blogs but for some reason felt I needed to here. Your views on being a leader/pastor and a friend are, in my opinion, a little too ridgid.
I know right when you think you got it all figured out thats when God rattels your cage!
Funny….we analyze and philosophize (to death) how things should be, we complain about how things should be, we blog, Twitter, and text each other about how they should be, we preach about them, we let them frustrate us until we’re so angry we can’t function. Imagine what we could do if we spent as much time and energy actually doing something about it.
There…now that I’ve wasted 5 minutes blogging and ultimately doing nothing to further God’s kingdom, I think I’ll go try to move it forward a little bit.
You know, I couldn't agree more about spending so much time on blog, Twitter, text, etc. I don't like it either. Anyone who knows me knows my disdain for it. If someone thinks that this is all I do, they don't know me. You can see from all the blogs of late just how much 'into' blogging I am!
Just been out trying to make a difference for the Kingdom, just like you! See ya in church...
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